Seasonal Lows

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Tonight will be night that I will be pouring my feelings on WordPress for the first time. Please note that this is fueled by current emotions and I might be feeling different the next time I read this whole post. I have to admit that the upcoming holidays will not be as fantastic as before. For the past few weeks, I have sacrificed my time and chances for my career to help the people that mattered to me. The downside is that it is supposed to be clandestine and what sucks about it is that other people thinks I am having a vacation when I have been actually squeezing my brains; forcing myself to be motivated; and getting ugly eye bags and pimples in the process. I feel upset every time people ask me what I’m up to and all I “can” answer is either a) I am taking a break for a meantime or b) sugarcoat what I am actually doing *insert with cherries on top*. I know that I should not complain because I am blessed having the important people in my life around me but I cannot just switch off that tired button easily. Sometimes, it’s exhausting to be an anchor. There are days when I just want to air my anxieties without worrying that I am burdening someone with my fleeting baggage or being bothered that I might get judged as a whiner. I honestly cannot wait to finish what I have started whatever the results may be and get my life back together – on my own. May 2015 be kind to me.

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